It's come to my attention on this Friday afternoon that my entry about my attitude toward the church has caused quite a ruckus. Let me say to all of those who read here:
1) This is my tiny space about MY feelings and observations about the world. Period. Not anyone elses, only mine. If you disagree with me, that's perfectly fine. Feel free to leave a comment.
2) My entry was obviously misread. It was about my own anger and frustration at MYSELF for not being able to forgive and move on. I was writing about my internal dialogue with myself and realizing how far I have to go to overcome my great disappointment. Have you ever had a conversation in your head? That's what this was, only in writing. If you were offended, then I failed to make my point adequately. I apologize for a rushed entry written in the heat of emotion.
3) Clearly, plenty of people have had a much different experience than I. I'm happy for them -- indeed I'm overjoyed for them. I only wish it were so for me. May you always be so confident and blessed in your faith.
4) I feel bereft when I am there and I don't like feeling that way. So my decision to try somewhere else where I can reconnect with my faith without all the baggage I've never been able to sufficiently process is the only way I know back to the church. And I have to find a way because that missing piece leaves me feeling hollow. Surely you can understand a person in a crisis of faith?
5) Please recognize that people have different experiences. We are not all so blessed to feel that sense of community. What's worse is that we were part of it for a while, and now are on the outside. I'm not sure how much of that is self-inflicted. I'm sure a good part of it is. Maybe the better question for all is to ask: What are we doing as individual members of the parish to make everyone feel that sense of community? Are we doing all we can? Or have we written certain people off as unworthy of the effort?