Thank you, RZ, for your supportive call tonight. It was most appreciated -- and needed. Part of how I work through questions and challenges in my life is to write about them. Helps me to see them outside of my head and in the light of reason. That poses problems sometimes for people who would rather I keep my feelings to myself. Well, I've never been very good at self-censorship, so I guess that leaves me in a bit of a pickle. I'm driven by the need to get answers to questions even where there are no answers. Suppose I can be a bit like a pitbull in that regard. And I've been repeatedly told that my expectations of others are too high. Hence, when I am let down the resulting turmoil is extreme. Not sure how to change that part of myself. And so I write.
Faith is important to me and feeling disconnected from it affects every aspect of my life. My recent posts were about me and my feelings toward an institution that is hopelessly flawed and human (like so many other institutions) and my own personal flaws in being able to overcome those feelings. Sadly that larger and more important point is lost as people read only what they want. They read about their church being under attack instead of a fellow parishioner in a state of crisis who is trying to work things out in her own head and doing a fabulously horrendous job of it. I can't change how you interpret my thoughts or what you think of my logic, but I do encourage those who disagree with me and find fault in my thinking to leave comments. This is a two-way form of communication and you never know what kinds of good discussions can result.
RZ, I'm only sorry that your comments weren't able to be shared here with others. Thank you for sharing them with me. Perhaps we'll see you on Sunday.