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Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Staying in touch

My family is somewhat scattered across Ohio, but even if we weren't, staying in touch is often difficult. We have kids and jobs and spouses and activities and all manner of "stuff" that keeps us from chatting regularly.

An interesting phenomenon has occurred though. We've always been a family of e-mailers. Only now my family also is reading my blog and staying in touch with me that way. It's very cool, I must say.

My older brother, Chris e-mailed me last week to say he's been reading and enjoying the blog. It means a lot to me because, whether he knows it or not, he's always been a big supporter of mine. We were two years apart in age, but only one in grade. We shared many of the same friends and activities. He and his friend even taught me how to drive stick in his friend, Bob's tempermental Celica nicknamed, Cybil. Chris is also the family techie and loves to keep me posted on all the latest Mac stuff that I can't afford. Of all my siblings, he understands best the time constraints placed on parents. He has two boys, ages 8 and 5, and gets himself involved in many of their activities. So, Chris, it's good to hear from ya!

And then there's Jen. She's really my best friend and strongest female supporter. If there's any one person in my life who shares my history, friendship and devotion, it's Jen. She e-mailed last week to tell me how she enjoyed last Thursday's post. She knows of what I speak because she lived with my hubby and I while student teaching. And she occupies the role of favorite auntie to my boys. People who know us both have said listening to us talk is like hearing stereo. We both have a tendency to gesture wildly with our eyes, mouth and hands. And we're both prone to outbursts of laughter (not always at the most appropriate time). She's put a link to my blog on her Yahoo page, so that's pretty awesome, too. Thanks, Fers!

My mom reads regularly, if not daily, to make sure I'm happy and well. And yes, Mom, I'm doing fine. I've never been a really good communicator with her as an adult (though I'm not sure why). So I'm glad that she reads the blog as a barometer of my mental health.

Finally, as of last Friday, my husband has started reading my blog. He read it end to end and even asked why I didn't post yesterday. (Answer: deadlines.) I think he's a little unnerved and maybe even a little excited by the person he finds there.

And so, when I'm unable to express my feelings verbally, as has been true for most of my life, I have resorted to putting them in writing. It works for me because I think more clearly in writing. Through the blog I've been able to express some of my innermost thoughts, giving myself permission to feel and letting go of the destructive nature that fear held on my heart. Besides, it's a lot cheaper than therapy.

I'm glad to have you reading, guys.

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