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Wednesday, April 07, 2004

What blogging has given me

Starting this blog was one of the scariest things I've ever done. I just didn't have the confidence that I could do this or that anything I had to say mattered to anyone. I'm happy to report that it now comes more naturally to me and I care less if what I say matters to anyone. It matters to me and I guess that's where the blog has saved me.

Every weekday around 11 or 11:30, I sit at my laptop and let the words flow. I don't always know what I'm going to write about or how it's going to come together, but somehow it always does. I spend a lot of time on my posts, sometimes digging in the bookshelves to find some reference or another, and I spend a lot of time reading and researching on the Internet. Often the ideas wil begin just as I awake in the mornings. I'll have several thoughts rolling around while I'm still in that dreamlike state where I'm not quite awake, but not asleep. It's my favorite time of the day because I'm feeling refreshed and creative. In a way, when writing assignments were sparse, the blog has provided me an avenue to keep writing and researching on a daily basis.

Assignments are really picking up and that's a good thing. It's good because now I can continue to work as an independent, confident that the bank won't foreclose on my house and confident that maybe now my husband can rest a little easier.

But the increase of work makes my daily blogging ritual a little more difficult. I can't spend the time in the middle of the day because I'm busy with deadlines. That's OK, I guess I'll just have to shift my time to blogging in the early morning or in the evening.

I'm encouraged by those who have read my blog and encourage me to continue. Thank you for all your kind words. I hope I won't disappoint or, worse, become irrelevant.

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