I can't speak for the male cancer experience, but as a woman, when your hair begins to fall out in clumps due to chemo, there's nothing anyone can say that makes that OK. It's traumatic and you look in the mirror wondering who the sickly stranger is reflected back.
Like so many things
with cancer treatment (for example, bone pain), it is something to be
endured. So be gentle to those who are in the midst. They have lost
something (albeit temporarily) that has been part of of their identity
all of their lives. No matter what anyone says, it feels like a loss (of
beauty, health, identity, etc.).
Big hugs to the cancer sisterhood. You
will get through this.